


Dying in L.A. [Part 2]

by tsundanire



Series: Dying in LA [1 & 2] [2]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, M/M, Past Drug Use, Rehabilitation, The UET and ERT aren't between Draco and Harry, Unresolved Emotional Tension, Unresolved Romantic Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-15
Updated: 2019-08-15
Packaged: 2020-09-01 12:00:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,805
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20257756
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tsundanire/pseuds/tsundanire
Summary: It's been one year since Harry left L.A. and his life with Draco.





	Dying in L.A. [Part 2]

**Author's Note:**

  * For [keyflight790](https://archiveofourown.org/users/keyflight790/gifts).

> This is the sequel and final part to the piece I wrote for LCD. It took a long time for a variety of reasons but mainly a reaaaally bad case of burn out and writers block. It's been a long time since I was able to string words together, even if I had the story all written out. 
> 
> That being said, I finally attacked this thing because there was a special date looming. This one is for you @keyflight790. Thank you for being born. <3 Also Thanks to thunder_of_dragons for the beta work, and on such short notice too!! You did amazing my friend, and I truly appreciate it.

## -1-

_ One year later. _

“Did you hear that Dean finally proposed to Seamus? Honestly, I thought it was going to happen ages ago, but I guess he was just waiting for the right time,” Neville chatted to Harry over his shoulder while keeping his hands busy in the sink - washing dishes and placing them in the rack to dry.

Harry nodded, but he couldn’t fully process what Neville was saying while his hands were wrist deep in magical soil. They’d just received a shipment of Mooncalf dung from Luna and Rolf, which Harry had spent the morning mixing with damp soil and leftover scraps of composted food. Neville was particularly fond of the eggshell and orange peel combination, stating that there was something special about the combination that really helped with root activity. 

“And it turns out, things are moving pretty quickly. I guess when you know, you just know. And I mean really, I suppose we all really knew. But I suppose they are looking forward to a well deserved vacation of sorts.” Neville carried on speaking, regardless of whether or not Harry was actually listening. 

This happened most days. It had become common-place from the moment Harry arrived back in the UK. His first point of contact had been Neville. Most of his friends had families now, and asking them to look after him while he attempted to heal was unfair to all of them. Instead, he’d crashed with Neville, intending to stay for only a few short nights and then find a place of his own while he sought out help for his addiction. But Neville wouldn’t hear of it, stating that it was a mutually beneficial opportunity for study. Harry wasn’t sure what all that meant, but he _ did _find he was grateful to not be alone on his journey. 

But _ mutually beneficial opportunity for study _turned out to be a lot more immersive and complicated than either of them had originally thought. 

“Harry?” Neville’s voice pulled him back once more, bringing him back to the realization that he’d likely been asked a question but had yet to respond. 

“Sorry, Nev. I wasn’t really all that focused,” Harry replied quietly, ashamed to have been lost in his thoughts. 

“I told you not to be sorry about that,” Neville replied kindly, placing a dry, gentle hand on his shoulder. Looking up, Harry knew he was looking into the face of one of the only truly genuine people he’d ever known. More than that, Neville had developed from an awkwardly shy young boy into a sure-footed, extremely handsome, kind man. And there was no doubt in Harry’s mind, Neville was unequivocally _ man _. 

In another time, before Draco, Harry could have pictured a life here with him. They got along really well, and there was a spark to the undercurrent running between them. More than once, Harry had felt Neville’s warm frame linger against him while they worked, or they’d catch each other’s eye, and for a moment, Harry was sure they were about to kiss, only for the moment to dissipate. 

No matter what kind of fluttering may happen between himself and Neville, they both knew it wasn’t going to happen. Harry’s life was saturated with blond hair and grey eyes. 

“I know, but still. I owe you so much, the least I can do is pay attention.” Harry chuckled, clapping his hands free of the dirt, then rose from his knees to a standing position. “What was it I missed?” 

“Ah, nothing really. I got a message from Ron yesterday, asking if we wanted to join a few of them for a makeshift game?”

“I dunno. Maybe.” Harry walked to where Neville was, playfully bumping him away from the sink with his hip. It was another one of those little things that made Harry believe there could be something building between them. But their time was almost up. Their plants were almost ready to bud, which meant Harry’s rehab was just about complete. He knew that by entangling himself in his friends’ lives once more, Neville was gently encouraging him to stay longer, maybe even eventually he’d gather the courage to ask him out for dinner sometime. 

But Harry knew his life wasn’t here anymore. To be honest, it hadn’t been here since the war ended. Recovering from his addictions, in a way, had become a recovery from everything. He still bore scars, most of them invisible, but they were no longer infected with the venom of his choices. 

No, Harry knew where his life was now, where he had to return to - where he had to try and make amends. His eyes were filled with determination, and he did his best to reflect that expression when Neville turned to look at him again. They didn’t need words; Harry could see that Neville knew and understood. They were meant to head down different paths, and this spark between them was temporary. 

“I’ll miss you,” Neville murmured, turning away from Harry. He focused on putting away his freshly washed dishes. 

“I know… I’ll miss you too, Nev.” Harry took one step forward, pressing his forehead to Neville’s back. “But you know this is how it’s meant to go. I was never supposed to stay forever.”

“Mm,” seemed to be all Neville could say. 

“I’m gonna go put the rest of the soil outside.” Harry pulled away, allowing Neville a quiet moment to himself. 

*~*~*

_ Anaheim, CA _

“**You guys have been absolutely incredible! Thank you Anaheim for being the best audience ever!**” Draco shouted into the mic, amping up his already hype audience tenfold. The sentiment hadn’t been false, either. Either because they were getting close to the end of the tour, or because another single from his album had lept almost immediately into the top fives on all the radio broadcasts, but whatever the reason - these last few concerts had secured his tour as the hottest tour of the year. Tickets had been sold out for months, and even scalpers were keeping their spots for just a taste of the glitz and glamour. 

House lights dropped, allowing Draco the chance to slip off-stage with his crew. They cheered, shouted, and clapped as they bounced their way to the green room. 

“Christ, Drake! That was honestly so intense! The hair on my arms are still standing on end.” Tannis paced excitedly back and forth, hands thrown around wildly in some attempt to re-direct his energy. 

Draco grinned, feeling satisfied with the performance he gave, but there was a hollowness inside of him. As exciting and wonderful as this all was, as much as it meant everything to him that he had this new lease on life… part of him was still waiting for Harry to come back. 

It was never going to happen, of course. The way things had ended so abruptly had torn Draco’s soul in a way the war never had. He’d been holding out hope that perhaps they’d been meant to be, and that they could have done this together… 

But Harry had left, not even having the bollocks to talk to him directly, instead leaving him a note that spoke of his addiction and desperation for recovery. Draco had always known Harry had gone in deep with drugs, but he hadn’t realised how bad it actually was. 

Draco didn’t need that in his life. At least, that’s what he kept telling himself. But he knew better. He just wanted Harry back. He wanted the man who inspired him more than anything. 

“Drake?” 

Startled, Draco lifted his head towards the call of his stage name. Just another sign that no one here truly knew him, and a reminder that despite being surrounded by people, he was still mostly alone. 

“Sorry, just a little wiped. What’s up?” He smiled politely towards his assistant. She had never done him wrong after all. 

“Oh, I’m so sorry. I just have to ask you for the next stop. They’re asking about the held ticket again. I guess sales have gone so high, they’re trying to free up every available seat.”

Draco narrowed his eyes.

“I just bet they are.”

“Well, see, they know you’ve held one at every location so far, but it was never once claimed. They’re just looking to see if you’ll release the seat for a paying customer.” 

There must have been something in his expression, because his assistant shut down right away. 

“Right! I’m so sorry. I’ll make sure they understand the ticket is not available to them or anyone else.” 

It was ironic that even after acknowledging how Harry had hurt him, Draco still held on to the useless hope that Harry would come to one of his concerts. So much so that he’d held a ticket in his name at each and every venue they went to. The seat was visible to him from the stage, so he’d also seen that not once had the ticket been picked up. 

Their next stop was the last one in the tour, which meant there was one last chance for Harry to see him on the stage before he was immersed once more in the recording studio. 

L.A.

The place where it all started. It made sense it would be the place his tour would end as well.

*~*~*

_Ministry of Magic, UK_

Harry leaned in, dipping the quill into the ink reserves, then scratched the tip across the parchment, signing his name across the printed line. He then passed the quill to Neville, grinning excitedly. 

“Can you believe this is actually happening?” He could barely contain his own excitement. 

“I’ll be honest, Harry. I’m a bit in awe right now. Shocked mostly,” came Neville’s timid reply. 

Harry laughed. He wasn’t all that surprised. Everything they’d done for the last year had culminated in this moment. Neville’s life work… all drawn out on a single piece of parchment. 

“I wouldn’t expect anything less from you, Mr. Longbottom,” Kinglsey added to their conversation. As the current Minister of Magic, it was a bit below his duties to oversee projects like this, but given their personal connection, and his valued investment in a better world, Kingsley had made sure his schedule had been clear. 

After a year of breeding, cultivating, testing, and diligent note-taking, Neville had succeeded in creating a new strand of the Belladonna species. _ Atropa napellus _was its temporary scientific name, subject to change in the next few weeks as they added the plant to Herbology directories. 

They were also signing a secondary project in which Harry would take over the cultivation of said plant in the United States. The timing was right, and Harry felt more than ready to take the lead of this project. It had saved him in so many ways, giving him hope that he could do the same for other people in the same place he was. 

It felt like the dark, thunderous clouds that were lingering above him had finally moved past, allowing nothing but sunshine and light into his life. 

It was time. 

There was a tingle of nerves in his belly, but he was ready. He wanted to see Draco again, to see if there were any residual feelings between them. Would they be able to try again? Or had Draco closed the door on them? 

Harry couldn’t have blamed him if he did. 

He pulled out his muggle phone device and used the web browser to check out Draco’s tour. He’d done it several times over the last year, pleased to see how incredible the news was about both the album and the tour, though he was hardly surprised. Draco was an incredible performer, and it was about time other people saw that, too. 

“And that about does it, gentlemen. I have all I require and will be in touch with you both in the near future.” Kinglsey nodded at them both, indicating his clear dismissal. 

They walked out of his office and down the long corridors that connected to the lifts, mostly in silence as each man contemplated their own paths. 

“Want me to go with you to the portkey office?” Neville offered. 

Harry closed his eyes. He turned in place until he was chest-to-chest with Neville.

“You know I’m beyond grateful for everything you’ve done for me, right?” Harry started, and almost immediately he could see Neville start to shut down. He leaned in and wrapped his arms around Neville’s sturdy body. 

“I’ll miss you, Harry…” Neville murmured, wrapping his arms just as tightly around Harry as he was being held. “I couldn’t have expected… _ feeling _like this, when I first got your note.” 

“I know what you mean.” Harry chuckled, blinking rapidly to stem the tingling in the corners of his eyes. 

“I am very grateful for everything you’ve done for me. You’ve given me purpose when I was lost. I don’t think I could ever repay that.” 

Harry blinked, shifting back slightly so that Neville could see the shocked expression on his face. 

“A-are you serious? That’s supposed to be my line. You _ literally _saved me. You changed everything, gave me a second chance at the life I was meant to live.”

“Well, I guess we saved each other then.” Neville smiled that tender smile he’d always reserved for Harry. _ Ding! _The lift doors opened. “Best you hurry on then. You don’t want to be too late and miss that portkey altogether.” 

Harry hugged him once more, then entered the lift. “Bye, Neville! I’ll miss you. Don’t worry, I’ll be back before you know it!” 

As the doors closed, and the lift began its strange descent pattern, Harry could have sworn he’d heard a reply. 

“No… You won’t.” 

## -2-

_ L.A., CA _

“_ Been traveling in packs that I can't carry anymore. Been waiting for somebody else to carry me. There's nothing else there for me at my door. All the people I know aren't who they used to be...” _

The concert opened the exact same way all his concerts had opened thus far: Full. Of. Energy. The tabloids, news agencies, and all other deplorable forms of media all asked the same question: how much longer before he burned out? Draco could have laughed in all their faces. They had no idea what he’d been through, what he’d had to lose to get to this point. He wasn’t giving up any time soon. One song blended into the next as he started his set. Initially, his plan was to get through the whole concert without looking at that forsaken seat, and it had worked. For the most part. 

As one song ended, Draco casually shifted to stage right, trading out his guitar and jacket to his assistant, who was glowing like the thousands of phones in his audience. 

“What? What is it?” he demanded, hating the fact that he sounded like a primma donna, but also acknowledging he was short on time. 

“The ticket!” she was barely able to get out, between her over-excitement, the chanting of the crowd, and his band starting up again. 

Draco’s eyes widened, equal parts panic, excitement, and anger running through him. _How dare he show up to the last one? Is he really here? Holy shit, what was he doing here? _

Thoughts ran rampant through his brain, one picking up just as another ended, sometimes crossing over unintentionally. It was chaos, but as his assistant tapped his shoulder, handing him the guitar back, Draco knew he’d have to put it to the back of his mind for a little bit longer. 

“Bring him to the green at mid, yeah?” 

His assistant nodded excitedly, then scampered into the backstage so fast, Draco had to wonder if maybe she had some trace of rat in her. 

As the lights raised once more, Draco strummed his fingers along familiar chords, ramping up the tune as his audience climaxed in their seats. His grey eyes searched to that one place they’d always gone, seeking out messy black hair. 

“_ Sorry to get sentimental tonight, (That perfume lingers in your hair). It's just that everything reminds me of things I thought I shouldn't have to see again. _”

And there he was. There was still enough of a distance between them that Draco couldn’t make out every detail, but it was most definitely his Harry. 

“_ See, the thing is I'm so sorry to say, (You need me, don't you?). Someone still loves you. Someone still loves youuu, _” Draco all but crooned into the microphone, eyes trained on Harry, as if those words were only for him. 

But were they? Did Draco still feel the same way as he had before?

*~*~*

“_ Hey look, Ma, I made it! _”

The last note hit its crescendo at the same time the house and stage lights dropped. Everyone was basked in darkness at the same time Draco rushed off stage. He had about half an hour to change, guzzle down some water and cool down before he had to hit the stage once more. 

“Drake! Amazing! Honestly, it doesn’t get better than what you did out there.” Tannis followed the group, making sure everyone was handing Draco whatever he needed. Towels, water bottles, but nothing super sugary. It wouldn’t do to have him sugar crash mid-set. 

“Just remember, this last half is the last one of this tour. Just a few more songs and you’re done.”

“I know,” was all he could manage in reply. Only a few more steps. Just two more. Before he got to the door, he turned to his entourage and held his hand up to them.

“Would you lot mind giving me some time? I just, I need to get my head back in the game before we go out there one last time.” Draco wasn’t sure if they’d acquiesce, but perhaps his assistant had done the job of prepping the request before he’d even stepped off stage. She was definitely getting a raise. Slipping into the room, he wasn’t prepared for Harry to already be there. 

They stared at each other as Draco closed the door behind him. 

“So… you’re back.” Draco broke the silence, knowing they didn’t have a lot of time to waste. Might as well make the most of it while he could. 

“I’m back.” Harry nodded. His voice was like a balm that warmed bruised skin. God, how Draco had missed it. 

“For how long?” Draco tried to ask matter-of-factly, but there was an edge to it. 

Harry shrugged, as if he didn’t really have an answer. 

Draco stared him down, noting for the first time since entering the room just how incredible Harry looked. For a brief moment, he found himself wondering if he’d taken care of himself while he was gone, or if someone else had taken that to task. 

“Where’d you go?” Draco asked instead, hating the jealous path his mind had taken. 

Harry stood, stretching his long legs, perhaps taking a second to formulate an answer, or at the least consider his words. 

“I went back.” 

“You aren’t very forthcoming tonight, are you?” Draco all but spat. He instantly regretted it, but the fact was, Harry had shown up out of nowhere, after having disappeared for over a year.

“I’m sorry…” Harry replied, genuinely apologetic. “It’s just… I-” He started and stopped multiple times, hesitating on whatever it was he wanted to say. 

“Just spit it out for Merlin’s sake, Harry.” Draco dropped himself on one of the room’s plush couches. He didn’t have a lot of time to fuck around with this back and forth, but at least he could make himself comfortable while Harry struggled. 

“I went through this moment a million times in my mind. Each time was worse than the time before. I had no idea what kind of reaction I was coming back to, or if you’d even want to see me again after what I did.” Once Harry finally started, it seemed like he couldn’t get the words to stop. “I wanted so bad to take back the fact that I left, or that I’d left without saying goodbye. But I couldn’t face myself. I couldn’t handle being near you, as if you’d know everything that was wrong with me. As if you could see the dirt that coated my soul.”

Draco looked away from the earnest man who was now pacing in his greenroom. He recalled the burn in his chest when he’d read the letter, coming home to an empty house, finding out he’d been left alone.

“While I empathise with your feelings of self-hate, what I can’t understand is why you thought I couldn’t be there with you? To help you through this…” 

Harry shook his head, possibly ridding himself of darker thoughts. 

“I’m.. used to doing very difficult things on my own. Things that would taint anyone else’s soul black, I learned to do on my own.”

“You always had Ronald and Hermione at your side, Harry. Don’t even pretend for one moment that you were truly alone.” Draco seethed. He’d known what it meant to be truly alone in times of great darkness. 

Harry sat beside him on the couch, hands covering his face for a moment, before brushing his hair back. 

“I died once.” He paused, not for effect, but as if he were reliving the moment in his mind. Draco felt his breath catch in his throat. He’d thought that had been a ruse, something to pull over the Dark Lord, as they all had. “I saw the bodies of my friends, what was left of my family, people who’d known me for my whole life, and I knew my decision was made. If the safety of those who lived on could be guaranteed, then I would walk into that forest with my head held high.” Those impossibly green eyes turned to Draco, capturing him in their quiet moment. 

“Obviously, we already know how all that turned out, but… I had never gotten past that. For years, I’d been living as the boy who’d walked into that forest, but I never truly left. The part of me that physically died there… he never left. And being with you was the closest thing to living I had ever done since then. But that wasn’t me. Not wholly me. And you deserve the whole of me.” 

Draco felt his breath lodged in his chest and briefly wondered when the last time he’d taken a breath had been. 

“I’m not saying I deserve a second chance, but I wanted to ensure I was all back in one piece before I went further down that road with you. I couldn’t give you my whole heart, like I wanted to, because I didn’t have a whole heart to give. But, if you think you can-” 

Draco shut him up at once, pulling Harry close by the collar of his shirt, and pressing their lips together in the most intimate of ways. 

This… Merlin, he’d missed this. He was vaguely aware of the lights flashing on his peripherals, but he couldn’t get his brain to focus on anything but the feel of Harry’s kiss, of his taste. Neither of which Draco had ever thought he’d ever have again. 

“Five minutes, Drake!” Tannis opened the door and peeked his head in, catching the two lovers in their moment. “Oh! Harry! How unexpected!” 

Draco would have thrown something, but he knew they didn’t have the time anymore. With an eye-roll at Tannis, Draco reached between them and took Harry’s hand. They still had a lot more to talk about, to catch up on, to learn about each other, but he did still have a concert to finish. And while things weren’t perfect between them, this moment was indicative of a new start, a middle ground they could navigate together. That alone was able to set a warmth inside Draco’s chest. The critics were right, though they wouldn’t have known how. This final concert in his tour was going to be the best of them all, for a single reason. His heart had been returned, and that alone would be felt in the words he sang for the rest of the night. 

*~*~*

A single beam of light focused in on Draco as he sat on the piano bench. Strands of lights, similar to those found at Christmas, were wound around the entire thing, glimmering in the darkness like fairy lights. 

As Harry reflected on all that had happened between them, it was hard to imagine that he was lucky enough to be here in this moment with Draco. But here he was, standing in the wings, and watching as Draco addressed the audience. 

“Guys, I just want to thank you so much for coming out here tonight. For listening to my songs, for being so incredible.” He paused as the audience screamed their lungs out. 

Harry’s heart pounded with emotion, seeing how much the faceless crowd loved Draco. He could understand it, feeling the way he did right now, being as in love with him as he’d been when he’d decided to leave. 

“I’m sad because this is the last song of the tour, the last song I’ll play on the most incredible journey I’ve been on. But hopefully this is just the beginning of something incredible for all of us. I want to keep playing music, telling you guys my story…”

Draco paused and looked into the wings, directly at Harry. Merlin, he looked so good on that stage, as if he were always meant to be up there. 

“Thanks, guys.” Draco chuckled, swiping the hair out of his face, and playing a few chords on the piano, something soft and slow that reminded Harry of the first few times he’d heard Draco play. “I actually want to take this moment and play something a little different. I know in all my last songs, I’ve always played something off the album but this one… This song is special to me. I’ve never played it in front of an audience before, and you guys are the lucky few who get to hear it for the first time.” 

The audience _ roared. _

And why wouldn’t they? The idea that they got to be part of something as special as getting to hear a song for the first time? That almost never happened. Harry wanted to laugh at the hernia Tannis must have been having. 

“Haha, I’m glad you guys are excited. To be honest, I’m not entirely sure I should be doing this, but I’ve gone through a lot this year, mostly good but some sad, too. There was someone in my life who disappeared and very recently came back.” Draco smiled, the one smile that had always been Harry’s. 

“Anyways, he’s… also been through a lot. A lot more than I have. But somehow, through all of that, he pushed past who he was, who everyone expected him to be, and he carved out a new life for himself.” 

Draco paused, as if waiting to see how the audience was reacting to his subtle coming out. When there were no boos or taunts thrown his way, he beamed and continued on. 

“I want to share his story with you, because without him I wouldn’t be the man I am today. Without him, I wouldn’t even be here to share any stories. Without him… I would have nothing.”

The intro faded into the first chords of the actual song, and when Draco started to sing, Harry felt something wet fall onto his cheeks. 

“_T__he moment you arrived they built you up - the sun was in your eyes - you couldn't believe it. Riches all around, you're walking- stars are on the ground - you start to believe it… _”

Memories filled his mind then: the first time he’d learned he was a wizard, that he was apparently famous, that every single kid he was going to school with knew his name. 

“_Every face along the boulevard is a dreamer just like you. You looked at death in a tarot card, and you saw what you had to do. But nobody knows you now, when you're dying in L.A…” _

Harry listened intently to every word of the song, feeling how much of him was put into this one song. He had to wonder when Draco had written this song, had he known then how much would happen between them? How much of him had truly died only to be resurrected in this city? And even now, as he played Harry’s song to the crowd, the melody danced around the words - the way his soul wrapped around Harry’s. 

All at once he understood what Neville meant when he whispered his goodbyes. Harry wasn’t going back, because this was home now. His life and soul were Draco’s. Wherever Draco went was where he belonged. 

*~*~*

**End**


End file.
